9-25-2015
You may be asking yourself why am I posting some of my personal experiences and history. Simple - sharing my experiences may just help someone who reads this blog. Less than a week ago I finished reading Kenneth Hagin's "Understanding the Anointing" in which he shared some of his personal experiences in how God helped him to come understand the anointing God gives us. I found myself relating to a lot of what he (Kenneth) wrote and it helped me to a better understanding of some of the things I've been experiencing this past year (especially since He gave me the 'Watchman'). Ergo, my prayer is that someone reading this blog will relate to what is said and it will help them as well.
My experience with the 'baptism of the Holy Ghost' was frustrating yet rewarding. My wife & I were living in Frederick, Md. at the time when we attended a 'Starr Scott rally' held in Frederick in 1978. Starr Scott was a Spirit filled preacher from Springfield, Va. whom we had heard about and (I believe) on radio on occasion and whom we liked, so when we had the opportunity to go see him in person, we did. I have no clue what he spoke on that night but at the end of the presentation he broke the audience into groups - those who wanted healing, those who wanted salvation and those who wanted the baptism of the Holy Ghost. At that time both my wife & I knew Jesus well and weren't looking for a healing so we went with the group for the 'baptism'. They did something that I didn't then and still don't agree with and that is using a 'jump start to bring out our spiritual language. The jump start was to 'repeat after me'. The leader would say a few words in 'tongues' then encourage the people to try to imitate him. The idea was to help people to speak in their own God-given spiritual language. The danger is that some would do exactly what the leader said - copy what he was saying and nothing more and think they had God's gift. I don't know if it actually worked or not. I can't judge what happened with other people. I only know what I saw. I saw everybody speaking in tongues - except me. And I mean everyone in the group. Even my wife. I was the ONLY one who couldn't get past 'English' syllables!
I thought surely I was spiritual enough to received the baptism and surely I was more spiritual than my wife. I had been saved a whole 2 years longer! My wife & I returned home and I was not a happy camper. I knelt down in front of the couch asking God "why not me?" Why was I the only one who didn't receive the baptism. It was probably around 11:00 PM when we got back home after the rally and my wife sat with me for an hour or so then excusing herself, she went to bed. I don't know how long I wrestled with the Lord over this, maybe a couple of more hours. I didn't look at the clock but it must have been at least 1:00 AM if not 2:00. Finally I heard the lord say "praise Me." So I did - in English. After a while I said "Lord, I'm getting tired of this. All I'm doing is repeating myself and nothing's happening!" Then I heard "praise Me" again and then "let Me give you the words to speak." I started praising Him again, in English, then I stopped. "Lord, You said you'd give me the words?" I paused for a moment then I opened my mouth again. A couple of words came out and guess what. they weren't in English! I opened my mouth and some more came out. Soon the words were snowballing out of my mouth - more and more, faster and faster like a snow ball rolling down a hill accumulating more snow as it goes down. I'm not sure how long this went on. As I said my wife and I returned home around 11:00 PM, my wife went to bed sometime after midnight and I went for another hour or two. It felt good, but then I knew God had blessed me with what I had requested and I knew it was Him. It wasn't me 'forcing' or imitating something. It really was a blessing from God! It was time to hit the sack. So I did. AND just like the day counseling for marriage in the pastor's office when I finally and truly accepted Jesus into my heart, I knew, ever since that day that I was heaven bound I knew that morning God had baptized me with His Holy Ghost. I've doubted many things since that time but I have never doubted my salvation or the baptism with the Holy Ghost.
Several years (yes I said years) later I asked Father why I hadn't received the baptism at the rally so He told me - "I wanted you to know it was something that came from Me and not something you learned from man or mimicked. I appreciated this because I don't remember if this revelation came first or if the 'dancing in the Spirit' episode came first; but the 'dancing' episode helped me put and keep what Father told me in perspective.
There was a time when we were in a Charismatic Church in Frederick and there were several of us in the back of the church one of whom was one of he associate pastors. Several people around noticed him moving around, dancing, and asked what he was doing. His reply "dancing in the Spirit." "Can you teach us to do that?" they asked. Can he teach them to 'dance in the Spirit'? If one can be taught or learn how to 'dance in the Spirit' then my question is it the Holy Ghost motivating you to the movement or are you just mimicking something you've learned? When the Holy Ghost moves us, we follow His lead, not do something man has taught us. And that's why Father told me it was just Him and me the night I received the baptism. Amen.
Friday, September 25, 2015
Saturday, September 19, 2015
9-18-2015
Last time I shared a bit about myself in general. Even though it isn't two weeks, the Lord impressed upon to go ahead and add this in this week, a bit about the spiritual path on which Father has brought me. No, it won't be like a Billy Graham, Kenneth Hagin, Benny Hinn or the like, but it is the path I've been on.
I mentioned before that I gave my heart to Jesus during marriage counselling that despite basically having been in the church and hanging on to a thread of what I had been taught, I had never really given my heart to Jesus. Upon conviction from the Holy Ghost, I prayed the 'sinner's' prayer that day in the pastor's office. From that day forward I've known that I belonged to God, even though I haven't always lived like I understood that. The learning process, for me, has been loooooong and arduous. I've always been a little thick headed. I've always 'sort of'' read my bible but after that day I found myself wanting to really glean what I could from it. King James was always hard for me to read/understand, but that was the version I had so I read & read. At first my reading was haphazzard, a passage here and a passage there, where ever I flipped the bible open, once or twice a week or so, Whenever the mood struck yet I was still learning - a little at a time. Later, Father impressed upon me that I needed to take a systematic approach. I started in the beginning - Genesis and got as far as Abraham (I think) before that started wearing thin. So I thought Matthew & the gospels. If memory serves me correct, I did get through Matthew and I figured Mark was shorter so that would be OK but I did not relish looking forward to Luke. 24 Chapters (almost as long as Matthew). Whoa! I will tell you it was more than just a couple of years before I finally got out of reading a verse here and a passage there before Father got me into a systematic approach to reading the bible. I had actually read the bible all the way through from Genesis through Jude (OK almost all the way through) when I just could't get started in Revelation. The Lord then had me reread the gospels again, then go back to Matthew and go through Jude, again hitting a block at Revelation. Eventually He took me back to Genesis and back through the whole bible again. Even though I don't make it a point to read the whole bible through, like once a year or anything, I find my reading is a lot more thorough anymore. I don't just read to read, I read to understand which means I keep my Strong's Concordance handy as well as other reference books that I have.
My wife and I started off with the Southern Baptist Church in which we were married. We moved from the general area to a community 15-20 miles away and back into the greater Hyattsville, Md. area. Actually no place where we lived was far from the Hyattsville area but we still left the Baptist Church because I wanted to attend a church 'close to home'. But, we never really found one.
In 1978 we moved to Frederick, Md. In Frederick, Father started taking me in another direction - spiritually. First we found an Independant Baptist Church (yep, a Jerry Fallwell affiliate, where the pastor was a grad from Liberty Baptist University in Lynchburg, Va.). It was after moving to Frederick that Father started exposing me to a lot of different things, spiritually. Things I had heard about and of which I knew absolutely nothing and then showing me not only in Frederick, but on the job at FDA as well. And that I'll share next time.
Last time I shared a bit about myself in general. Even though it isn't two weeks, the Lord impressed upon to go ahead and add this in this week, a bit about the spiritual path on which Father has brought me. No, it won't be like a Billy Graham, Kenneth Hagin, Benny Hinn or the like, but it is the path I've been on.
I mentioned before that I gave my heart to Jesus during marriage counselling that despite basically having been in the church and hanging on to a thread of what I had been taught, I had never really given my heart to Jesus. Upon conviction from the Holy Ghost, I prayed the 'sinner's' prayer that day in the pastor's office. From that day forward I've known that I belonged to God, even though I haven't always lived like I understood that. The learning process, for me, has been loooooong and arduous. I've always been a little thick headed. I've always 'sort of'' read my bible but after that day I found myself wanting to really glean what I could from it. King James was always hard for me to read/understand, but that was the version I had so I read & read. At first my reading was haphazzard, a passage here and a passage there, where ever I flipped the bible open, once or twice a week or so, Whenever the mood struck yet I was still learning - a little at a time. Later, Father impressed upon me that I needed to take a systematic approach. I started in the beginning - Genesis and got as far as Abraham (I think) before that started wearing thin. So I thought Matthew & the gospels. If memory serves me correct, I did get through Matthew and I figured Mark was shorter so that would be OK but I did not relish looking forward to Luke. 24 Chapters (almost as long as Matthew). Whoa! I will tell you it was more than just a couple of years before I finally got out of reading a verse here and a passage there before Father got me into a systematic approach to reading the bible. I had actually read the bible all the way through from Genesis through Jude (OK almost all the way through) when I just could't get started in Revelation. The Lord then had me reread the gospels again, then go back to Matthew and go through Jude, again hitting a block at Revelation. Eventually He took me back to Genesis and back through the whole bible again. Even though I don't make it a point to read the whole bible through, like once a year or anything, I find my reading is a lot more thorough anymore. I don't just read to read, I read to understand which means I keep my Strong's Concordance handy as well as other reference books that I have.
My wife and I started off with the Southern Baptist Church in which we were married. We moved from the general area to a community 15-20 miles away and back into the greater Hyattsville, Md. area. Actually no place where we lived was far from the Hyattsville area but we still left the Baptist Church because I wanted to attend a church 'close to home'. But, we never really found one.
In 1978 we moved to Frederick, Md. In Frederick, Father started taking me in another direction - spiritually. First we found an Independant Baptist Church (yep, a Jerry Fallwell affiliate, where the pastor was a grad from Liberty Baptist University in Lynchburg, Va.). It was after moving to Frederick that Father started exposing me to a lot of different things, spiritually. Things I had heard about and of which I knew absolutely nothing and then showing me not only in Frederick, but on the job at FDA as well. And that I'll share next time.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
9-12-2015, this is my inaugural venture intro blogging so please bear with me. I have no clue what I'm doing - only what I want to say.
For right now a little history of the relationship the Lord has developed with me over the years
My wife-to-be & I were counselling with our pastor to be married. I had attended this particular church growing up but this pastor had only been there for a little over a year. My fiance & I had attended several of his services and decided that we like him (he was a real sweetie) to do our wedding. He was grounded, sensible and confident. Well, Pastor Carmen Hartsfield had a funny idea about marriage - if Jesus wasn't in the marriage, that marriage was doomed - at best and he would not perform the ceremony if the couple were not saved. So he asked me if I had ever given my heart to the Lord. I quickly responded that I had basically grown up in this church. He said "That's not what I asked you." So again he asked me if I had ever given my life to Jesus and again I quickly responded (I was 26 at this time) that I had faithfully attended Sunday School and services up through High School. And again he said "That's not what I asked you." And again he asked me, but this time the Holy Ghost convicted me in my heart what I had known from the first time the pastor asked - no not really. I only knew about Jesus but had never given my heart to Him.
That day I gave my heart to the Lord and I've had the confidence ever since that I belonged to Him. Understand, not that I always lived like I knew it, but I knew it as I know today that was when the Father brought me into His kingdom.
The pastor performed the ceremony because my wife had lied and answered 'yes' to his aquesstion. I had the opportunity to ask him several years later, after my wife gave her heart to Jesus, if he realized it back when he married us. He replied yes, but he told me that he knew being married to me, it was only a matter of time before she, too came into the kingdom.
A quick fill in on the marriage. God blessed us with two children, Katrina and Chris. Now my son & I are both "William C." but our middle names are different. I didn't want to saddle my son with a Jr., good or bad. Chris is our miracle baby. 4 1/2 years separate Katrina & Chris and my wife & I had counted 13 miscarriages in between, one which went 6 months(causing tremendous emotional issues) before we lost it. Not meaning to cause emotional trauma, none the less the OBGYN told my wife that she was an habitual aborter - meaning her body just couldn't carry the pregnancies. She was devastated by that tag but then she gave birth to Chris.
I've always been very matter of fact & unemotional (except anger) and this was the cause of my wife & I separating for a year while we lived in Frederick. It was the loneliest year of my life.
Obviously we got back together and eventually moved to Hagerstown where she went to be with the Lord in 2005. Multiple health issues including pancreatitis & degernerative arthritis plagued he final years before the congestive heart failure finally took her.
It took me too many years to figure out that this was indeed the woman God had always intended for me and that I indeed had married the virtuous woman. I should have seen her failing health that final year but like I said I have always taken things in stride and my wife was a very strong woman. I was blind. I thank God though that we had the time that we did.
I have several things I want to share, but not at this time. I'm planning on doing an update every two weeks. I'll be sharing how I have come to the place where I am today, spiritually and I have many things the Lord has shared with me over the past year that I'd like to pass on. I currently attend Wellspring of LIfe FWC in Hagerstown, Md. which is a full gospel, apostolic, prophetic church. I was baptized in the Holy Ghost back in 1978, spent time in several churches over the years some of which claimed to be ''apostolic', but am still fairly new with the 'prophetic'. I know Father speaks to me & He has spent the past year showing me how I've come to knows this.
I've had to and continue to deal with confidence issues which have greatly slowed my spiritual progress. God has had to teach me at my pace so my prayer is that someone will be reading this and learn and grow as I have, except at a much quicker pace.
As your heart seeks the Lord may He bless you and enrich you in all areas of your life.
In Christ Jesus
Buck
For right now a little history of the relationship the Lord has developed with me over the years
My wife-to-be & I were counselling with our pastor to be married. I had attended this particular church growing up but this pastor had only been there for a little over a year. My fiance & I had attended several of his services and decided that we like him (he was a real sweetie) to do our wedding. He was grounded, sensible and confident. Well, Pastor Carmen Hartsfield had a funny idea about marriage - if Jesus wasn't in the marriage, that marriage was doomed - at best and he would not perform the ceremony if the couple were not saved. So he asked me if I had ever given my heart to the Lord. I quickly responded that I had basically grown up in this church. He said "That's not what I asked you." So again he asked me if I had ever given my life to Jesus and again I quickly responded (I was 26 at this time) that I had faithfully attended Sunday School and services up through High School. And again he said "That's not what I asked you." And again he asked me, but this time the Holy Ghost convicted me in my heart what I had known from the first time the pastor asked - no not really. I only knew about Jesus but had never given my heart to Him.
That day I gave my heart to the Lord and I've had the confidence ever since that I belonged to Him. Understand, not that I always lived like I knew it, but I knew it as I know today that was when the Father brought me into His kingdom.
The pastor performed the ceremony because my wife had lied and answered 'yes' to his aquesstion. I had the opportunity to ask him several years later, after my wife gave her heart to Jesus, if he realized it back when he married us. He replied yes, but he told me that he knew being married to me, it was only a matter of time before she, too came into the kingdom.
A quick fill in on the marriage. God blessed us with two children, Katrina and Chris. Now my son & I are both "William C." but our middle names are different. I didn't want to saddle my son with a Jr., good or bad. Chris is our miracle baby. 4 1/2 years separate Katrina & Chris and my wife & I had counted 13 miscarriages in between, one which went 6 months(causing tremendous emotional issues) before we lost it. Not meaning to cause emotional trauma, none the less the OBGYN told my wife that she was an habitual aborter - meaning her body just couldn't carry the pregnancies. She was devastated by that tag but then she gave birth to Chris.
I've always been very matter of fact & unemotional (except anger) and this was the cause of my wife & I separating for a year while we lived in Frederick. It was the loneliest year of my life.
Obviously we got back together and eventually moved to Hagerstown where she went to be with the Lord in 2005. Multiple health issues including pancreatitis & degernerative arthritis plagued he final years before the congestive heart failure finally took her.
It took me too many years to figure out that this was indeed the woman God had always intended for me and that I indeed had married the virtuous woman. I should have seen her failing health that final year but like I said I have always taken things in stride and my wife was a very strong woman. I was blind. I thank God though that we had the time that we did.
I have several things I want to share, but not at this time. I'm planning on doing an update every two weeks. I'll be sharing how I have come to the place where I am today, spiritually and I have many things the Lord has shared with me over the past year that I'd like to pass on. I currently attend Wellspring of LIfe FWC in Hagerstown, Md. which is a full gospel, apostolic, prophetic church. I was baptized in the Holy Ghost back in 1978, spent time in several churches over the years some of which claimed to be ''apostolic', but am still fairly new with the 'prophetic'. I know Father speaks to me & He has spent the past year showing me how I've come to knows this.
I've had to and continue to deal with confidence issues which have greatly slowed my spiritual progress. God has had to teach me at my pace so my prayer is that someone will be reading this and learn and grow as I have, except at a much quicker pace.
As your heart seeks the Lord may He bless you and enrich you in all areas of your life.
In Christ Jesus
Buck
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