4/1/2017  Doubt

    

                   

How often do we have a vision, a dream or even a goal and then begin to doubt if it is really meant for us?

It seems as though every so often the “Watchman” surfaces before me.  In Nov. 15, 2015, I gave an account of the events surrounding the watchman and my consequential struggle within myself about it and getting confirmation about its validity.

With the Watchman, Father shared with me the calling He has placed on my life.   If you’ve ever read my bio (it’s on the blog), you’ll understand my next comment.  Father has yet to ‘turn me loose’ because even at my ‘tender age’ I’m still learning and growing (no, I’m not going to tell you my age).  At the end of 2016 and into 2017, Father has shown me areas in which I need to be ‘solid’ before we can take the next step.  He doesn’t want to put a novice out there to do an old pro’s job.  We can’t send a boy out there to do a man’s job and neither does God.  Obviously I’m not speaking in the natural, my boyhood has been many decades ago, but I am speaking spiritually.  No matter what our chronological age is, our spiritual age begins with salvation and grows at a rate according to our yielding to Father through Jesus Christ – at the leading of the Holy Ghost and our obedience to Him.  Father has given me a couple of tasks to help me mature (spiritually) so I can come to the point at which He wants me.  Now, a quick throwback.  Father gave me the Watchman in Sept. 2014.  We (Father & I) started the blog in Sept. 2015.  So, you might ask, what happened in Sept. 2016?  Father gave me an increased spiritual connection with Himself which has been growing rapidly ever since.  

Read on.

I shared in a post in Nov. 2015 how I entered into a “zone” with each of the three segments (installments) of the Watchman.  I hadn’t notice a thing, each time, until after completing the post.  I went to stand up – and couldn’t.  My legs didn’t have the strength for me to stand up from the chair in which I was sitting.  My computer is in the basement so that’s where I do all my computer tasks.  It was more than just a few minutes before I could get up off of the chair and literally “inch” my way over to the basement steps and then I literally crawl up those steps on all fours into the kitchen.  I lifted myself up from the kitchen floor, using the refrigerator as support and inched over to the bathroom and then, after taking care of business, finally was able to make my way to my stuffed, green chair in the living room.  I live in a small, two bedroom house where the front wall is comprised of the seventeen foot living room wall across the front of my home plus the fourteen foot wall of the bedroom.  So, about thirty feet or so from outside wall to outside wall.  To get from the computer to the green chair took between thirty and forty-five minutes with only a couple of minutes in the bathroom.  I sat in the green chair another forty-five minutes before I could actually stand up without falling back down, that is until the strength returned to my legs to support me.  Father explained to me later, actually just last year (2016), that I was under an anointing.  Not the type of anointing one might think of where a guy can lay hands on others and they succumb to the Holy Spirit, but it was an anointing nonetheless, to accomplish the task Father had set before me (thank You Lord).

I also shared in that Nov. ’15 post, that, being in a prophetic, apostolic church, I ‘knew’ that at least one of the prophets I would be around over the next several months would acknowledge my experience in prophecy.  At least one of them!  Nada.  Not a peep out of any of them, not even my pastor, as to what God had done with me.  I began to doubt myself.  Maybe I really hadn’t heard from God, but my own imagination, seeking recognition, had manufactured what happened, the prophetic word and the experiences.  I shared that in January ’15 post, Father sat me down on my ‘keester’ (back side) and proceeded to show me how He, personally, had been confirming the experience for the past three months (go back and read the Nov. ’15 post to see what He said).  I learned not to expect confirmation on my relationship with Father through man.  That isn’t to say that God would not confirm things through man.  I just shouldn’t expect it.  After all, whom am I leaning on?  

I’ve been in the prophetic movement now for over six years and I can say that all except two of the prophecies spoken over me were confirmation of what Father had already told me, and many didn’t hold a candle to what Father had already said.  Don’t get me wrong, they were good words, God just carried the same word to a higher level and a greater depth than and before anyone else did.

Since then, the enemy has come in multiple times trying to discourage me and get me to back off and shut down.  Oh, did I mention that in Jan. 2015, the reason Father sat me down was I was getting ready to do just that, shut down, figuring I had just been fooling myself with self-grandeur delusions and stuff.

Now, let’s talk some about overcoming that doubt and discouragement.

As I said, I was looking for confirmation that Father had indeed called me to a specific task and I was looking for ‘man’ to confirm it and Father showed me all the ways He had been confirming the calling.  Again, how He had been confirming it.  I just hadn’t been listening ‘too good’.

Since giving me the Watchman in Sept. 2014 and confirming it in Jan. 2015, Father has been expanding my understanding of the depth and breadth of the calling.  Every so often, over the past two years, He has given me little tweaks to that understanding so that I not only know what, but why and how I should be expressing myself in respects to that calling.  And through 2016 to present, He has been telling me where and how I need to grow in order to fulfill the mission.  And that’s where I’m at now, learning some of these additional tweaks so I can be most effective for His kingdom and to be ready to step out when Father does call.

Father has given me two prophetic words from Him and backed them up with scriptures all which He said define the calling He has placed upon my life. One of the scriptures is in Jeremiah 1:1-19 where Father not only defines Jeremiah’s calling, but how He has equipped him and reassures that He is will be with him.  The second is in Ezekiel 37:1-14 Where God takes Ezekiel to the valley of dry bones and has him prophecy to those bones (which are the whole of Israel) to come together, in order (positioning) and be covered with sinew, muscle and skin.  So the dry bones are looking like a body.  Then so God has Ezekiel prophecy to the wind and He (God) will bring breath back into those dead bodies so that they might live again.  God goes on to say that He will bring these people up out of their graves and He will breathe His life into their lifeless bodies and they shall know that He Is Lord!  And Father has shown me how the prophecies and these two scripture apply to today’s world  

Father has added two more scriptures to the mix, not necessarily for me but for the whole of salvation (those called into what He is doing today).  Jeremiah 32:38 “They shall be My people and I will be their God.” and Ezekiel 37:27 “and My tabernacle shall be with them and they shall be My people.  And a third Revelation 21:3 (John speaking) “I heard a voice out of heaven saying “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men and He will dwell with them and they shall be His people.  God, Himself, will be with His people to be their God.”  Of course, Father will be with us in eternity as we dwell with Him forever, but He is with us today, more actively than most Christians allow.  We have to allow Him (give Him permission) to work in us and through us.  Then the angel told John “Let he who hears and is thirsty come and drink of the water of life freely.” (Rev. 22:17).  Jesus knocks on the door and whosoever will let Him in, Jesus will sup with him (Rev. 3:20).  God does not force Himself upon us, but He will answer our call.  This not only applies to salvation but also to our spiritual growth.  As we seek a closer walk with God, He is faithful to oblige us (Matt. 7:7).

Father tells me that the prophecy of the Watchman is not just for me, but He is raising up an army of prophet/evangelists.  God is at work doing something hidden and quiet, for now -- and it is so supernatural that it's beyond human comprehension. Yet He is working a work which will slowly start being manifest as ‘this season’ plays out and is going to affect the whole world in these last days.

God is preparing a small but powerful army of Christians!   As I was preparing this post Father showed me what David Wilkerson (The Cross and the Switchblade and Teen Challenge) wrote on June 13, 1994 “God is preparing a small but powerful army of Christians! This army is going to be the most dedicated on the face of the earth. And the Lord will come forth to command them to do exploits and shake hell.  He is going to close out the ages with a pure, devoted, fearless remnant!" 

What Father has shared with me is that since a little before the Protestant Reformation (about  the time John Wyclilffe produced the first ‘English” bible) up until recently, He has been re-establishing His body.  From that first English bible through the Protestant Reformation, through the ‘Great Awakening’ and the Pentecostal movements, God has been gathering the dead bones of His church and putting them in proper alignment, attaching sinews so they don’t fall ‘out of place, covering the bones and sinews with muscle so they can function and adding that outer layer of skin, so the church can look pretty.  He started putting His Spirit back into the church with the Pentecostal movement, but is now adding the ‘final’ touches today (the current season) which will carry His children into a much deeper relationship with Him.

He is creating an army to the degree that we will know, (not shall, but will) that He is the only true and living God who reigns forever and ever AND we will know that we ARE His people, following Jesus with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, not doubting but pressing forward in the Holy Ghost accomplishing His will.  God’s church will believe (though not having physically seen) Jesus and will do all the things God has called His body to do (in the name of Jesus), just like the early apostles (Peter, James, Andrew, Matthew, John, etc.).  Again, because He has put His Spirit into our hearts and we have joyfully received Him and all the Spiritual power that comes with Him.  This outpouring of the Holy Ghost that we are currently experiencing is the second ‘rain’ (Joel 2:23 & Haggai 2:9) and the second outpouring of the rain shall be greater than the first (the time of the apostles and the early church). 

According to Doug Addison (a prophet in California) a seven year period (a season) of blessing, restoration and restitution started Jan. 2015.  Father has shared with me that there is a second seven year period (season) immediately following this one.  More than one prophet (as I read and hear things) is already talking about a huge spiritual explosion coming and Father has said that these seven years are the preparatory stage for the second seven years.  The prophet/evangelists will start emerging as this season progresses so that when the next season starts, there will be a full blown spiritual explosion such as the world has never witnessed before. 

Now, no part of this army has the whole picture, so this army is equipped with different tasks and different approaches to their callings.  But remember, we see in part and we know in part (1 Corinth. 13:9-12) so one soul does not have the full picture and shouldn’t try to do it all by himself.  Some may see how Father has been rebuilding His church and others may have a burden to assure souls are ‘saved’.  Some may be focusing on spiritual growth while others may be able to see ‘around the corner’ and solidify souls for their tasks in the kingdom of God.  But be reassured that Father is bringing the infilling, the baptism of the Holy Ghost, to a new level these days as He rejuvenates His church, building that army. Make no mistake.  This is NOT the army of Armegeddon (Rev. 7:1-10, Rev. 19:11-16), rather an army of prophetic evangelists who will not only show the love of God to the unbelieving, but will also truly bring the fullness of God’s love back into His church. 

Don’t be like the Pharisees who did things for man’s recognition (Matt. 23:26-31) and their own profit.  But as God puts His Spirit in us afresh, do that which we do from our hearts because we ‘desire to’, not because we ‘have to’ (Col. 3:23) and because the Holy Spirit has called us.  Let us become the fishers of men that Jesus has called us to be (Matt. 4:19)

 So, when I become discouraged and down, Father brings these things back into my remembrance and little things like Doug Addison’s daily word (www.dougaddison.com) where on 3/31 he wrote “God has been pulling you back like a slingshot and it is now time to be propelled forward.”  Things may seem slow, like not much of anything is happening, but I do believe that God is getting ready to propel me forward, and seeing how things have accelerated for me spiritually over this past year, I can see this happening.  There has been too much preparatory work going on in my own life to think otherwise.  And remember, there are many more whom Father is also preparing in similar fashion.

When we are discouraged, Psalms is always a great source of encouragement, but I shared this, today, so we can see that God uses many ways to encourage us on and forward.  Even that to which He has called us to in this life.  We strive to win the prize (1 Corinth. 9:24).  It is not who crosses the finish line first, for those before us have already crossed it, but it is running the race with all that we have and loving Him as we serve Him (Matt. 22:37, Heb. 12:1-3) because everyone who crosses the line is a winner – eternal life with the Father though the Son, Jesus Christ because the Holy Ghost, being with us every step of the way, helps us to get across that line.

Amen