12-2-2023 Why am I Here?
Growing up, Jesus had favor before God and man (Prov. 3:3-4, Luke 2:52). As He grew in the natural, He also grew in the Spirit, exampled when He wowed the doctors in the temple at age twelve (Luke 2:42-47). They were amazed at the knowledge of this twelve-year old boy.
Baptist was preaching around the Jordan River. Having baptized many, he shared
about the coming Messiah (Matt. 3:1-12).
Then Jesus approached and was baptized by John. This was necessary for Jesus to fulfill all
righteousness (Matt. 13-17). At this
time, Jesus was about thirty years old (Luke 3:23).
baptism, Jesus was then whisked away into the wilderness where He was
confronted by the devil. Luke says that
Jesus was tempted during that period of time for all forty days (Luke 4:2)
which culminated in (both Matthew and Luke) with the final temptations. Satan tempted Jesus with “eat”, that is food
for the body, “jump”, or do You truly trust God and finally, “bow down before
me”, or “is Jesus truly dedicated to Father” (Matt. 4:1-11), body, soul and
Spirit). Obviously Jesus passed with
flying colors: Man shall live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of
God; don’t tempt the Lord God; we shall worship only God (Creator of all
things) and serve only Him (Matt: 4:4, 7:10).
then ready to minister to us and did so for over three years culminating in the
crucifixion (Matt. 27:27-50), resurrection (Mark 16:1-18) and ascension (Acts
declared himself to be a Pharisee and the son of a Pharisee (Acts 23:6). Understand that a Pharisee, in Strongs’s
Concordance, is pharisaios or
separated one (G5330). That means he was
a part of the most influential religious-political party at that time. Pharisees studied and interpreted the Law
(Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary). Experts?
holding the coats of those who stoned Stephen (Acts 7:57-60), Saul, a devout
Pharisee, considered the “Christians’ to be a heresy so he persecuted them with
all his energy and the church gave him the authority to pursue his desire (Acts
8:1-3). But, as he was doing so,
something happened! He encountered Jesus
as he proceeded to Damascus to carry out ‘his’ mission and he lost his sight,
physically (Acts 9:1-7). Ananias was in
Damascus when God told him to go pray for one Saul for he was a chosen vessel
to go to the Gentiles. So, Saul was
three days in Damascus when Ananias came to him to receive his sight. We see that Saul has also been called Paul
(Acts 13:9). Paul then continued his
mission to the Gentiles. Interesting,
Paul may have been about three years younger than Jesus. According to
Paul’s encounter with the Lord was about three years after the crucifixion and
resurrection of Jesus. Side note: whether we acknowledge Anno Diem (A.D.), ‘the
‘year of our Lord’ or ‘after the common Era’ (ACE), they both have the same
base beginning time or about ‘0’ AD, or the accepted time of the birth of
Jesus. (no extra charge for this little
tidbit – lol). So, Paul may have been
about thirty of age when he started his ministry.
Consider that Paul/Saul and Jesus lived
“normal’ lives leading up to their ministry.
Then, in the eyes of the world, their lives changed dramatically, as did
the world. I wish I could say the same
about me. Welllll, I could say it, but
it wouldn’t be true (lol).
that Jesus and Paul led ‘normal’ lives until they were released into their
God-given ministry. Jesus, being God
come into this world in the flesh (John 1:1) knew His ministry. God told Moses that “I AM” sent you
(Exod. 3:13). The apostle John turned to
see who was speaking to him and what he saw was like the Son of man who said “ I
AM Alpha and Omega …” (read it all Rev. 1:1-18). And after his encounter with Jesus, Paul
discovered the ministry which God had given him.
prophet Samuel was dedicated to God by his mom as she had been barren and asked
for a son. She promised God that if He
gave her a son, she would give him back to God (1 Sam. 1:11, 1:24-27). And she did, under the care of Eli. Later, Samuel had his encounter with God and
came t know God’s voice (1 Sam. 3:1-10).
Note that three times Samuel thought his mentor, Eli, had called him and
it also took Eli three times to realize what was going on so the fourth time God
came to him, Samuel said “Speak, for your servant hears You.” (1 Sam.
3:1-10). Many thoughts (voices) come
into our heads yet we, too, have to learn to recognize Father’s voice.
Note that Jesus,
Saul and Samuel all had encounters with Father.
Father publicly acknowledge Jesus when He said this is My beloved Son (Matt.
3:17). Paul on the road to Damascus and
Samuel who ran back and forth to Eli before He responded and acknowledged God.
So, “Why am
I here?” Do I have a calling on my
life? How do I know?
examples are shared that you might have an idea how God interacts with us. May I share how Father has dealt with
me. First of all, no, I’m definitely not
comparing myself to Paul but as Paul, I try to emulate the qualities and
character of Jesus – abide in His love, the best that I can.
As a young
boy (under 10), I have a vague memory of attending a Presbyterian church a few
blocks from the house in which I grew up.
One of my neighbors even took me, occasionally, to their Catholic church. There was also a nearby Southern Baptist
Church, to which another neighbor took
me with her family. Between high school
and the time I married, I did not attend any church regularly. My wife and I attended the So. Baptist church
for a couple of years then, we moved out of the immediate area and that started
our search for another church. We
slipped in and out of a couple different Baptist churches, Presbyterian, and
then after our ‘baptism in the Holy Ghost, we attended the Church of God,
Assemblies of God and a host of independent Pentecostal churches which included
United Pentecostal. We had moved several
times and finally ended up in a town, just at the panhandle in Maryland just a
couple of miles short of the Pa. state line.
A priest in a Catholic church in that town, helped my wife in a most6
difficult time so we even attended the Catholic church for a while. My wife went to be with the Lord in 2005 and,
as of this sharing, I’m still in that town.
was growing me, It seemed as though we had a hard time stabilizing in any specific
church yet, several years after my wife’s passing Father introduced me to a
Full Gospel, prophetic, church where I still am today. I’ll be honest, I attended this church for
several months when I was thinking about bailing out – again. Then Father clearly said to me “Buck, this is
where I want you!” No doubt in my mind. Since that
time, Father has continued growing me into a deeper understanding of His Word
and my relationship with Him. I’ve
all those years, even though my relationship with Father hadn’t always been the
best. I had freedom of choice and I exercised
it but He always kept a thread about my ankle.
2014 Father told me to go to Ezekiel 37 verses 1-14, the valley of dry
bones. He said “this is your task to
come”. Then He took me to Jeremiah 1:1-4
and said “I will equip you”. But, as
with Jeremiah and Ezekiel, Father obviously did not want me to go to Israel so
He told me that today’s church is in the same boat as Israel was back
then. Full of dry bones an needing help. Again, Father had given me two specific
scriptures and said that they were for me.
Somewhere in that time frame, I don’t remember exactly, a little before
or a little after that September, Father told me to look up the meaning of my
full name, first, middle and last. Then
He told me to check out the ‘Christian based’ meaning of numbers – my
birthday. He told me that my name and my
birthday revealed the qualities of my nature, my natural gifts, talents and
abilities which He ‘intended’ for me.
several lists of numbers but I focused those claiming a biblical base. Two lists that I found were Biblenumbersforlife.com
and http://www.gods-kingdom ministries.net/teachings/
books/secrets-of-time/appendix-e-the-biblical-meanings-of-numbers/. To give you an idea let’s take a look at
three numbers: #1- unity; primacy, new beginnings, oneness of God, #4- creative
works and #7- resurrection; Spiritual completeness; Father’s (or Spiritual)
perfection. I suggest to examine several
lists on your own and not depend on just one.
Look up your name.
Baby lists, meaning of names, etc. for they can shed light on your
name’s ethnic origins and what they mean as well as qualities and
characteristics, but again don’t limit yourself to the first list you find. Check out several.
told me, this gives you an idea of our God-given gifts, talents and abilities.
persuaded that when Father has a specific calling on your life, He will also give
you a specific scripture (or more) to back it up. As I said, the ‘valley of dry bones in
Ezekiel and Jerimiah’s calling were two that He showed me.
Once you have gathered the information, its prayer
time. Ask Father to put it all together
for you. ‘What does all this mean to me,
Lord?’ He will tell you. It could be one sentence or maybe even
several, but it will a be logical, understandable composition.
For me, once all this was done, I asked Father for
confirmation, that I was truly hearing from Him. I searched from the end of that September
through the end of the year, Dec. 31st 2014, but
no confirmation. I was getting pretty
discouraged so in January I challenged Father was He really calling me. Spiritually, Father set me down on my keester
(bottom) and said “You ask why I haven’t confirmed what I told you in
September?” He then proceeded to show me
how through special events I attended, the sermons my pastor preached, what I
heard from TV ministers, what I saw in magazines, etc. then He asked me what were all these people
talking about?” Then I realized and
replied ‘what You told me back in September.
I was expecting to get a word from all those prophetic people I was
exposed to and I thought surely someone would have said “Buck, the Lord said to
tell you ….” And, of course, no one ever
did. Father then said “How much
confirmation do you need?” He gave me
three months worth of confirmation.
Bottom line is, Father gives us a calling, great or small,
and He will confirm it. Of course we
have to listen with both our ears and be aware with our eyes.
You may ask “So, what are you doing about it now?” In the spring of 2015 Father said to start a
blog – and I did. I’ve continually asked
Him for guidance as to what I put in it.
I admit, at first it was probably very boring. In part, I was establishing who I was but the
past several years Father has been more and more pointed in what we have put
out. More specific to His calling on my
life. More specific what He want His
children to understand. These last two
years He has been very
specific. And, even today, Father
continues to show me how many ministers are focusing on a closer relationship with
God AND Father has shown me some have been very pointed in how to accomplish
this. He’s still confirming in me that
I, indeed, am still on the right track as I am still learning!
It’s taken me many years, okay decades, for Father to get
where I am now, but He has shown me it is for purpose. As He has
patiently waited for me to catch up.
I had to reach one level before He could take me to the next. He has been continually showing deeper things
in scripture that He wants me to know and it has been awesome! Have I arrived yet? Hardly.
I know that I will continue to grow until He calls me home.
A word of
encouragement. I have been a ‘federal
government’ employee all my life. I
started with the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), General Services
Administration (GSA) and I retired fromr the Food and Drug Administration
(FDA). While at FDA I gave my job to the
Lord. Father blessed me by promoting me
from a documents clerk to a ‘contract liaison’ where I trained contract
personnel, wrote operational procedures and mediated ‘differences’ between the
government and the contractor. Father
elevated me from (on the government scale) a GS5 to a GS12 – with no formal
We all have
a calling on our life – great or small.
Not everyone is going to be a great speaker, singer, or artist,
etc. but God has given each of us a
gift, a talent or ability (or all three) within which we can operate. That calling could be a stock boy, clerk,
secretary, supervisor, CEO, whatever. But
whatever God calls us into we should always do with all our heart as if we are
doing it or our Lord. Because we
are. In whatever ‘job’ we function, our
beginning prayer should always be “Lord, I give this job to You. Help me to be the best that I can be while I
Why am I
here? Ask the Lord, He will show
you. Then pursue whatever that calling
may be with all your heart as you live for and in Jesus Christ.