I promised to share the lesson I learned last winter after Father had given me the 'Watchman' and circumstances surrounding it.
For the past six months our pastor has held classes for several of us helping to brush up and make sure we understand certain theological concepts so I've had the pleasure to read Kenneth Hagin's book "Understanding the Anointing" which has helped me to understand many things that have been going on in my life, especially fairly recently (last couple of years). I mention this because I'm going to share what happened to me as God shared the 'Watchman' with me and I was looking for confirmation that I indeed had heard from Him.
As i said in the last post, Father gave me the Watchman over three different days over a six day period in September 2014. I do my 'main' prayer in the morning and each offering of the Watchman fit neatly into that scenario - during my AM prayer session. And interestingly enough (not that it means anything that I'm aware of) each came at the beginning of that session. Father would start sharing the word with me and send me downstairs to the computer to type it out. Everything was fine as I made my entry. I felt just I do any other day, that is until I stood up to go back upstairs. On the first day, I stood up and sat right back down in the chair. My legs were like two strands of cooked spaghetti and they didn't want to support me. A warm feeling was over my body and nothing bothered me. Nothing. Not even the usual little twinges and aches I normally feel. But I soon realized I had problem - I had to get back upstairs and use the bathroom.
I stood back up looked at the basement steps, all of ten feet away, and wondered if I could make it. I literally 'inched' my way to the steps holding on to the things that were nearby and even though I couldn't say exactly how long it took, it had to have been at least five or six minutes. I looked at the steps and my legs seemed to say to me "you want us to climb that?" I did - On my hands and knees. I literally crawled up the stairs. Still on my hands and knees, in the kitchen, I still had about ten or twelve feet to the bathroom. My situation was getting desperate. I thought to myself "Once I get to the bathroom I still have to stand up." So I grabbed hold of the refrigerator door handle (beside me) and pulled myself to my feet. I shuffled to the bathroom door. Yes, I did make it. Afterwards I shuffled out into the living room and traversing the ten or twelve feet I flopped, or should I say plopped, into my green chair. And there I sat. I made several futile attempts to get up but it was a full forty-five minutes before I was able to get back up onto my feet again and move about with reasonable ease. Mind you, I felt GREAT during all this. Virtually nothing bothered me but I just had a very hard time getting to my feet to stand up.
The same thing happened again when I received the other two segments of the Watchman but they weren't quite as intense and didn't last as long. On the two subsequent episodes I returned to 'normal' after about fifteen or twenty minutes.
Father reminded me that this wasn't the first time this happened. He reminded of one time in my 'old' house (I moved in March 2015 to where I am now) when He laid me out prone, face down on the living room floor for about fifteen or twenty minutes before I could get back up. I knew, for sure, if anyone peeked in my living room window and saw me laying there they would have thought I had suffered a heart attack or something. And it has happened many times since, to lesser degrees. I started calling this my 'zone' and I had and have no problems getting into the 'zone'. It doesn't happen every time I pray but it does seem to happen whenever the Lord shares something significant with me. And I usually don't realize I'm in the 'zone' until I go to stand up. Sometimes the 'zone' lasts a couple of minutes, sometimes it lasts considerably longer and like I said, most times I don't even realize that I've entered into the 'zone' until I realize that I can't stand up.
I mentioned that we were studying Kenneth Hagin's book on the 'anointing' so I've come to realize this experience is an anointing as Father shares something with me He wants me to know. I love it. I learn something and I feel pretty good at the same time!
I knew in my heart that the word on the 'Watchman' was supposed to be shared with others so I asked the Lord 'how!'? I've been reading Doug Addison's e-mailed "Daily Prophetic Word" for over a year now so, at the Lord's direction I e-mailed a copy of the Watchman to Doug's e-mail address (from the website).
We had a special speaker come in for our Fall Harvest banquet in October so Father prompted me to share the prophecy with the fellowship so with the Pastor's agreement I did AND I gave a written copy to our guest speaker who just happened to be a relative of our pastor.
Also in October I went to the "Elijah's List Conference in Frederick, Md. where I handed the pastor of that church a copy of the prophecy (in envelopes) for each of the guest speakers there, Doug Addison, Jane Hamon and Steve Shultz. I don't know if the copies were ever delivered, but I gave them to pastor.
We had a prophetess come and speak at our Christmas Banquet in December. No I didn't give her a copy but I mention this because her presence feeds into the situation.
I was doing what I knew to get the Watchman 'out' and I was feeling pretty god about my efforts. Before I went to the Elijah's List Conference in October Father sent me to a local store, 2nd and Charles, saying "find a book by either Doug Addison or Bill Hamon and buy it. Right around that time I was learning that Bill Hamon was one of the 'founding fathers' of the 'prophetic' movement so I went looking. Nothing on their shelves by Doug but I found one book (yes one, not one title, just one book) by Hamon - 'The Day of the Saints'. So I bought it. Father said to read it before I went to the conference in Frederick, so I did, all but the last chapter and Father said 'no problem, we'll catch it later'.
So here's my situation:
In September Father gives me the "Watchamn'
In October I go to our Banquet AND the conference in Frederick
In December we have our Christmas banquet
Every word our Pastor brought on Sunday since the end of September contained elements from the Watchman
I'm around a lot of people who operate in the 'prophetic'. Surely Father will speak to one (if not all) of them and tell them what He has done with and for me (the Watchman). I thought for sure. Even though I was prayed over no one, nada, nil, nary a soul, mentioned the Watchman. Even through the end of the year, not even my pastor mentioned the Watchman.
I do have a vivid imagination (always have). I found myself in the first couple of weeks of January (2015) feeling pretty sorry for myself. Why had no one mentioned it? I KNEW one of these people would confirm what the Lord had given me but no one did. I began to wonder if all this wasn't just my imagination and the Lord really hadn't spoken to me. I challenged Him "Why didn't you confirm what you had given me through any of all these resources I've been around?" I was beginning to conclude if I had been wrong about the Watchman what else have I been wrong about. I was considering 'shutting down'. I was going to back down to just doing the tasks I do with the fellowship and of course I would continue to pray and read the bible but if I'm not really hearing from the Lord why should I pursue the prophetic operations within me. After all, I apparently wasn't as prophetic as I thought.
Then Father took His turn to speak.
Buck!What was the book "Day of the Saints" about.
Father, it was about how the saints rise up and not just live for You but do Your will and it was laced with elements from the Watchman
What about the speaker at the Harvest Banquet?
He included several elements contained in the Watchman in the word he shared.
What about the Frederick conference?
Again I heard a lot of the elements from the Watchman in the words each of the speakers brought.
And what about the speaker at the Christmas banquet?
Huh! She also had elements from the Watchman in the word she brought.
And the words your pastor has been bringing in October, November and December?
Every message she has brought from October on have contained elements also in the Watchman.
So, let Me see if I understand this. Twice in October, once in November and in December NOT to mention how many times the pastor has spoken during the same time, they have all brought a word that contained elements from the Watchman. Am I right?
Ugh! Yes, I guess You're right, Lord.
How much confirmation do you need?!!!
Several months later I finally as able to get a copy of the Elijah List Conference DVD. I watched most of the presentations including the one Jane Hamon gave on Friday night. As I listened to it I said to myself "Holy smokes!" Now I was there on Friday night and heard her speak but watching the DVD I saw where most of the word she brought could have come straight from the Watchman. I mean it was loaded with elements from the Watchman but I surely never realized it that Friday.
The enemy had come very close to not just stealing what God had given me but came very close to shutting down any future attempts to share what Father was sharing with me.
I was looking for confirmation, but I was looking in all the wrong places!
Lesson learned - God does't always speak to us the way WE think He should. Father speaks to us in the way He wants to and that is dependent on what He's trying to teach us.
When I've considered how God confirms things with me, He has reminded me 1) When I learn something new, God exposes me to that idea through man but then He teaches me through scripture how He wants me to understand it and 2) I have received 'prophetic' word (personal prophecy) via many sources (people) and every time Father has used it to confirm what He has already told me - except three times. Once my pastor prophesied that I would speak before a large group of people wearing a suit - I don't like anything up around my neck, it chokes me, not likely but not impossible and the other two times two different people gave me the same prophecy, my pastor and a prophetess, a dear sister in Christ. They both prophesied a wife for me. My wife went to be with the Lord in 2005 and frankly I'm not looking for another wife. Even though originally I was motivated not to seek because financial reasons, since then I've used Paul's argument about splitting time between the Lord and a spouse, no spouse = moe time with he Lord.
Point to all this is Father doesn't seem to do things with me as He does with other people but I must admit that after reading Hagin's 'Anointing' I realize that I'm not the only one in this boat. Paul was not taught by the other apostles and neither was Kenneth Hagin taught by his peers. I appreciate how God has dealt with me over the years and Father has shown me that I don't operate under 'man's' teaching but rather through God's revelation.
I thank Father for what He has done in me and how He's done it and my prayer will always be that putting this out there, just as I have needed to realize that I'm not an island, the things I share in the blog will help someone else come to a realization of our relationship with the Father. In Jesus' name.